Handling Your Divorce With Grace
/Divorce is one of the hardest things to go through in life. There is so much to figure out and you’re doing it all through a cloud of emotions. Regardless of whether you initiated the divorce or not, you’re going to feel strong feelings like anger, sadness, fear and more.
When we react to situations while we’re experiencing negative emotions, we don’t always present ourselves as the graceful and classy person we wish to be. And this can make the divorce even harder than it is already. Responding with calm and grace are the things that will make things go smoother (and quicker).
Because so many important decisions must be made throughout the divorce process, you’ll want to have a rational mind so you don’t overlook anything important. Of course, being rational isn’t easy when you’re flooded with anger, guilt, sadness, and so much more.
But don’t ignore or stuff down those monsters! While sometimes that seems like the best way to deal with them (and sometimes it is - in the short term), doing so for the long term is really not good for you. We humans are supposed to feel the full range of emotions.
When something upsetting happens or your start to feel a certain kind of way, here’s what I suggest:
1. Notice what’s going on. Have awareness.
2. Take three deep, belly breaths.
3. Try to name the emotion (grief, fear, sadness).
4. Take some more deep breaths.
5. Do something to help process it further like exercise or journal writing or talking to a trusted friend.
Now, you can make better, rational decisions about your next steps. This all might sound kind of woo-woo if you’ve never done it but I promise it helps. Don’t just take my word for it. Check out this tough guy who has gone from Navy SEAL to promoting mindfulness.
Know that our emotional state is absolutely connected to our physical body. So when we can calm our body, our minds simply work better and we make better decisions.
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