"Getting to Yes: Negotiating Without Giving In" by Roger Fisher and William Ury
TThis classic focuses on finding agreement that includes both sides interests by following four principles: 1. Separate the people from the problem; 2. Focus on the interests rather than positions; 3. generate a variety of options before settling on an agreement; and 4. insist that the agreement be based on objective criteria.
"The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind" by Tammy Lenski.
Lenski shares three pivots we can take in the midst of conflict that help us look at the situation in its reality rather than perception, figure out why it bothers us and help move us forward so we don’t stay stuck in the past. Why something upsest us stems from six conflict hooks on which we get caught. She helps the reader examine which of the six are our hooks and therefore when something happens that threatens that part of us, we react strongly. Have you ever thought, “That kind of thing just really bugs me!”? Well, whatever that “thing” is might be one of your hooks and it catches you every time it happens. Lenski helps us identify our hooks so we can catch it before it becomes a bigger problem that won’t go away.
"Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall Rosenberg
Another classic that describes a way of communicating with empathy and focus on personal needs without judgement. He teaches that to communicate in a non-violent way, we need to express ourselves honestly and listen honestly. He further describes four parts elements, which are to 1. take a moment to observe before you react; 2. notice what impact your observation has on your feelings; 3. identify the need that lead to those feelings, and; 4. create a request of the other person as to how they can fulfill your personal need.
"We Need to Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter" by Celeste Headlee"
After decades of conducting interviews, Hadlee realizes that she's not that great of a listener. She shares research and techniques to improve how to have a conversation in which we really pay attention to each other in a kind and balanced way. This book is good for all relationships, personal, professional and societal.
"The Promise of Mediation: Responding to Conflict Through Empowerment and Recognition." By Robert A. Baruch Bush and Joseph P. Folger.
While this is obviously about mediation, the techniques discussed here are the make up of what is called Transformative Mediation. By focusing on Empowerment and Recognition in any conflict, you can find growth, understanding and resolution.